Direct leak from Disney shooting script, source unknown

FIRST SCENE OF NEW STAR WARS PLOT LEAKED:

Location: Tattooine, L8
HAND SOLO, CHEWBACCY and LUKAKU are meffing about by the chippy.
DARTH VADAR rides by, pulling a wheelie on his BMX

HAND SOLO: Fuckin prick

FADE TO:
PRINCES LEAR walkin to the offy in her onesie and slippers with all curlers in her hair. She enters the offy.

CUT: OFFY INTERIOR. ALL BARS ON THE WINDOWS AN THA
PRINCES LEAR: giz a bottle of Lambrini love

ZOOM FADE IN TO SIGN: CONSERT SQUARES
There are loads of people milling about, being sick and coppin off and tha
ENTER PRINCES LEAR with a load of her mates, all dressed up in like a bra and pants and tha
PRINCES LEAR crouches down in an alleyway and has a piss

ROLL CREDITS

STARS WARS LEAKED SCENE 2

ON a SPACESHIPS
Two maens are dressed up like speace mans in special STROMTROPERS suits, and they are standing guarding a ROOMS with a guns

SOMTROUSPE 1: you look like a prik

SOMTREPPER 2: Fok of, it's not my fault we have to wear this shit. Anyway you're wearing the same too you prik. Takes one to know one. I know you are.

A ROBOT goes past BEEPING

SOMTRPPOE 1: Yeah you can fuck off as well you little aids

A MAN in a CLOAKE comes up from the distance

STWPER 1: Ah fuck not this fucking moiderer again

MAN in CLOAK gets nearer. You can't see his face cos it's all in shadow apart from his nose a bit but he is SPOOKY as FUCK

MAN in CLOAK: Mintroclordians. Strong is this one. Your father I am. Short for a STEAMTRPA you are. I powerful become imagine that. A sinster! You have a strister! Jar Jar Bink! I find your lack of face distribung. Take off my mask I want to see with my own eyes now aye.

SDOMTROPER 2: Yes mastyer.

MAN in CLOAK steps forward and magics a 20p from behind the ear of STRPOEMOORPER 2.

MAN in CLOAK: Such is the power of the dark side.

FADE, ROLL CREDITS

STARE WASS leeked scene three

It is dawn PRINCWES LEAR has woked up in a wheely bin down the side of MODOs by the One Four an she has all crap in her hair

PRINCES LAER: Fok

A YOFDER walks past using a stick

PRINCES LEART: Fok this is good visuals on this fok

YODEA: Dreemuing you are. In beds you will awajken. Angrer, payn, tricks these are of the DOG SIDE. Be not seduced. Waa waa waa waaaaaaa

CUT TO:
PRINCIES LAIE in bed in her houss in WOOLTONS VILOJES.

PRINCES LAIORE: Wowea that was one hell of a dreems that, I have ate to much cheeses from the WOLTEN VHEESE SHOPES bio shock gaggle

A MAN appearas in the middle of the screen he is a DEADO called OBBY WANKY NOBBY and does have a a beerd a bit like ALECX GINNESS in STARARA WATRES

PRINCES LEAT: Who the fuck are you? Scooiby Doo?

IBBY WIONKY NOBET: That is a name I have not heared iun a long time. It is a civilized wepons for a more civilized ages. It is a sword really isn't it. Made of electricks and that.

BOBBY WONKY NOSERY weilds a LITE SABERS. He cuts the bed in halfs. PRINCES LAAER is also cuts in halfs

OBBY WANKE NOBBY: Oh yeah you are still dreeming and also ur pregnant by GOD at this time of year and u will give birth to a EWOKS that look remarkably like a DOG dresed up in a bear costume played by WAERICK DAVIESES

PRINCER LEAS: Bad one.

CROSS FADE TO BLACK END OF SEEN THBRSEE

STRAG WAORS leedked scenee fore

BUCKS ROgers and a ROBOTS are wandering around in a space ships

BUCKRO GRE: You stop following me u idiot

ROBOT: Biddybiddybiddy BUCKS. I not a follow I in front and u r the idiots u idiot

BUCJK ROEPRE: Watch out ROPBOT it is the CYMBALONS

SOME CYNGBILONS hav arrivedf and one is pointing a GUNS at BUCKJO ROGERS

CYMBALOTS: Oi BUCK I have just KILD DOCTOR HOO so nbow I will extyaminates u in a minit if u dont give me all the jely babies

BUCKJ ROBERS: Ah but that where u wrong becos I am actually MAN FACE from A TEAM haha

OBROT: Oh yeah that true buiddy bidyy booo

CYNMBALN: Now I am in luv with you instead let me do a kiss on your chin that look like bum

BUCKT ROEGERS and CYMBALON do a kiss and ROBOT do a sick becos it so disguystipating

SUDDENLY ANOTHER BUCK ROGERS COME IN

ANOTHER BUCK ROGERS: Oi get off her u both are in wrong space programme, I googled it and u r doing BATLESTAR GALAPIGA u flids look here it is on screemn on this TRUCORSER I borrowed off my frend CVAPTAIN SISKOS

CPTAIN SKISO enter too

CAPTAIN SPOSKO: You cannot have TRICORDERE becos that out of STAP TRAK also I check CYMNBALONS is not same as CIGFERMENS theyb are the DOCTOR HOO ones so u must of just step on a spiders or something anyway I going now who coming to that moon up there for a laff

MAN FACE, ANOTHER BUCKT ROEDERS, ROOBOT, CYBLAMON: Oh but THA NOT A MOON u fungus

NOW there DRAMATIC CORDFS by JOHN WILL.I.AM. an the SCREIN FADE to DRAMATIC BLAK

STAURS WARTO leaker scine FEIVE

A UMPERIAL WALKERS s walkings through a DESORT going CLANK CLANKI CLONK an looking altogether really wonky and completely inneficientt and badly engineered for the solution

SUDENLY a WEEWOKS come and thro stone at it

UMPTRIAL WALKERD: Oi Stop IT u sily sausage I am just having a walk thank u how would u like it if I thro stones at u when u eating yor brekfast of jelly tots

WEOK: Sorry I am ashmamed and will now go and have lie down oo hang on minit here is a shiny robot he is a god u know called SEE FRIEPO

ISE THREPO: oh this is most unuysual they fink I am some sort of god oh dsear oh dear me hey do u think I am actually the same man as BUNGLE out of rainbow it seem we are both wet weeds or maybe he actually CHEWOBACKE yes that makes more sense bobobobobobobobobEOEBOBNOB

SDENLY a load of EWOROKS come and tie CHEW@OBH and LUEK SIYWAKEL up in a trap cos they were there as well but I forgot to mention it before also probbaly HAND SOLO an PRINGES LAER too becos they were distracted by DATH VAYDER doin a sick ollie on his new board

CUT TO

SPACESHIPS oh it a scary bit this so watch out ok OK the EPMEROR is standing on the bridge of a SAPRESHIPS looking at a planet and LUKE SPYWAKLERE is also there so he probably not on moon is he anwyay

EPMOROR: LUJE it is too late for your friends I am going to explode them all up with my big moon gun so see if I can for a laff yeh

LUKE: No I gonna get u now you prik

EMPSO: Ah yhes hate anger give in to this u will becum my puplil like your DADDA before u which is DRAT VADEOR who stand over there look hge very scary

LIKE: No way dude u can fuk ov

LUGE grab a litesabers

EMPOROROR: UES I jhavbe not got arms u must get me u oaf

LUKE Try to get EPMOUOE but out of nowhere come DRAP VDAEADER on his new cool scooter an blok the blow with his own LITEDSAERB

THEY HAVE A START OF A MSASSIVE FITE ooooo it really exciting told u it would be

CUT TO:
ON A MOONS there are now about five walkers walking aboiut an PRINCE LAER and L:UOE is having a race on some cool bikes but the STROMATOPERS always fall off and hurt their knees anywayt in the end one of theEWQKS is a dead but they all bvreak in to the building an turn off the power so EMPORORORORO cannot watch pointless cos his TV signal have turne off

CUT TO:
SPAECSHIPS

EM<PROR: Oh you ninny what happen to my TV signol DARTHIS VADAR KILL LUKES he is a bum head

DARTH VAORE an LUKES SKYWAKLER s sill have a massive fite it really exvcitin an one of his hand falls off

TO BE CONTRINUED.... END OPF SEEN FIVES

STOP WARSO leaged SEEN sicx

((NOTE to DIERECVTER: this is in a fhash back which is a way to do a storie vbit that u forgetted earlier ok so do that yeh))

A YORDER is in a FORESTS amn SUDENLY LOIK SYEWAKLER land in swamps

LUKES: Hello I am, a Llooking for a brave JEDDAIS called YORDDEE are u him u r a little midget green face LOLOL ROFL

YORDER: Seek YORDA ui do eh?! hahaha! Wabbaclak bok!!! have u got any jelly tots or black jacks or a everlasting goblstober? I am a hurbgry

LUKEE: No u silly clot I lookng for GREET Wariors what OBI WANKY NOBI said was the best and had ace magicsk to tell about stuff an I will learn it an go and batter DAKJ V AYESDER bercos he think he so great but he not so great an he not the boss of me

YOET: HAHA I am a yorder really u clot now let us do a magic oh here is a robots

ROBOTS: Beep beep beep o beep on toast BEEEEP

YOET an LUKES laff at TOBOTSD joke which too complicated tpo translate

SUDEWNLY LUJES go into a tree an d have FITE with DAER VIKEWR bvut it only a illusion an it actually a picutre of ELVIS insted

YORDER: Clot u r u not reddy

LUKES fly off ANYWAY an YOREEE cry but his teers are made out of SOADASTREAMS so he make a cocacolas an drinkls it an run around lots cos he has too much sugars

CUT TO:
OBLY DOBLY DOKEY is a fite with ADER VARK on a spaceshipts.

CUT TO: 
GRAPHIC THAT SAY: THIS A FLASHBACKS OK SO KEEP UP U WORRYWART HEAR

We is in a DESTRET. a YOUNJG BOYS has blonde hairs

GIJANN WONG an a young OBUI WANKY NOBO is walking

OBI WAGGLE: Ogh Quid Jon Bongio that young boys is a powerful mistriclordian but I bet he turn out to be DARK VADERS

SUDENLY SAME:L JACKSONS walk in loooking all cool

SAMEL L HSAJOIN: I will strikes on thee with GREET VEBNGABCE LOL only joking that PLUPO FUCTONS film with JON TRAVOLITA who get drunk an fall off a toilet or something an BRUCE WILIDS have FITE with MAN n hit him with SWAORD

OBN KENONKG: Ur cool SAM JACKSONS

SAMELS JACROBN: YES I really true look at my stupid beerd if a white man wear it they looking like JERBEMY BEEDKLE or RICHAIE GERVIAEIS but on me it well cool, yeah

SUDENLY OBI WAKKG NOBI clutch heds

OBI WANGY NOBY: Oh dear I fink something happend that terribleo it like GOERFGE LUCAS get FOUR BILLION DOLLARS in bank accounts all at once o no diar me anyway END OF FLASHBAKS

END OF SEEN SICJS

STIR WATORS seen seven, leeked speshaly to slectked press

HAND SOLOS is now made out of a stome man and is hanging on a WALL in a palass of JABBER A HUTS who is BIG FAT MAN look like football mangager JOHN HUKLSE who cheat by giving rhyls milkshakes with drugZZZ in it

JABERO HUTS has got PRINCERS LIEAR on chain and sdhe wearting SEXY MADONNA CLOTHES

SUDENLY LOOK SKLYWAKERS come in and HAVE BIG FITE weih DERAGONS an kill its but that shgady too becos DRAGON KEEPER is sad so KLUKE SPYCAWKER is taken to courts by RCSPSEA fir ABBNIMALS ABUSING and quite right too and he get a big fine an banned from keeping pets for HUNDRED YEARS the dirtyy beggare

PRINCES LEARS ECSCAPINGS by making JABER A HUT fall over an then HAND SOLOS come back to LUFES but he have no eyes then they find eyes an he fall in love with JARS JARS BINKES

JAR JAYR BINKER: Mesahorny mesasaymesaraciststereotypes hmm hmmm me would only be moreracist if me smoking a splkiffs an wearin a BOBS MARLEYS T-shirts

HAND SOLO: Kiis me u fool I have a big glowing wart ofg LUVB in my HAERTS for u

Then on come BNUFFYS the VALPIRE SLAYERS an she do loads of cool air kicks an impress everyones

BUFFYS: I so sexy an cool an I been in skool for FIFTEEN YEERS so shut it bozos

GILES: o diar I think also I am CEE THREPOO as well an speak the same an do the same things but I have glasses an am not ROBOTS of course ORE AM I

THEN they go cos a V AMPIRES is in B&Ms an is not letting anyone near the hot dogs sections by pushing trolleys at them it is shady

HANDS SOLOS: Now I go and have a lie down in this camel like BAER GRILLS would do cos it cold outside r u coming LUKES

LUKE: Yeah that sound really cool, we can do cudols an special snoggois

Then the ICE BASE fall down as it is riddled with dry rots an DRATH VADAER has caused it by bridging the gap in the wall cavities cos he is a fiends

LUKES: I WILL GET YOU VAFARDS!!! U r a big menace!!! U should stand in a corner an think about what u done u let the empiures down u let me down but most of all u lets urselfs down

Then DAVID MOPYES come in with big buggy eyes

DAVIDS MOYES: IT A TRAP

CUT AN PRINT ESEEMN SEVERNS

SERY WARS leadker sceen eigth

EMpREOR is on SKYPES with EMPROR MING from FLASH GRODONS

EmpreR: O I don't know Ming old chap I thnk sometimes I just want to be understaood

EPRA MINGS: Pish posh poo yes I undubitably agreeing with u. I don't do not kno w ywh I am always in trubble all I want to do is be acceptred and kills a few people now and then and rule a planet and bomb erths sometimes is that too much to aksk? Agagagagag ol.ivsk

EMPROE: Npot at all, in fact it is merely a matter of persperectives isnt it I mean at least we are open about it you know not like the stupid Jeddais with their spooky magics and messing about in robes and that, it really childish hippy bollocks and very boringhs and wet

EM<PROE MINGS:" Yes and FALSH VCGRODONS has come here univintited and is causing up a stink and he has wokens up BRIANS BLESEDS who all he does is shoutings and he know I have headache due to stress from the continual greying emptiness of unbidden life in the middle class yabadabaddoo raggy raggy roo etc

sudenly EMPROSOR MINGS DAUGHTER COME IN she is very sexy and everyone appreciate her a bit then she go again because she is more than a sexcual; fanstasy for geeks if u please

SUDENLY in come CAPTAINS JON LUKE PRCAID from STA TREKS

JON LUKES PIRCAD: Helli I am a Shakespeers has anyone seen my scripts forsooth oh me oh me soft I bald as the sun and Juliet is the morinning

EMPROR MINGS: No but I am a hungry where is yor frends WILFS

JON LUE PRICA: I call him now HEY WILFS ur needed on bridge make rocke4ts go FAST NOW

WILSF enter, he is six foot nine an hasv nice tan

EMRPS MINGS: Can I have bite of pasty on yor hed pleese Wilf I am a hungry face

WILF look confused an like he need a poo al;l the time

WILF: mamI' DaneH'a'? nItebHa' mamI' DaneH'a'?

EMPRO MILG take bite of WILF head for joke an all hav a good laff then a nice cuddol with a kitton aaaaahhhhh

END OF SEENS EIT FADE TO SEEN NINES

STARW ARMS leaking secne NINESA

PRINCVESSS LEAIER has woken up in MANCHESTERRS TRIMN STATION OCTFOIRD ROAD and she is wearing L plates an a big short dress froxck and lots of makeups

PRINCERS LIEA: O no I have gotr drunk on a hen nites and lost my frends o i must of splept on a tyrain or got off at a wrong station whichever seems more plausible for purposes of the plot anyway ouch where is my baardiks breezersw hmmm

LUKE entrteas from a toilet where he has beern being a sick due to necking a bottle of tomato sauce for a jhoke lol

LUIKES": Liaere what u doing here u sporsed to be the maidens of Honour at EMPREOR MINGs SEXY DORTERs marraige to a rebooted Star Trek XCapartain KITK as played by SEXY CHIRS PINES o no it is all wrong I will hav to use a FORCES yo get you to a churches

LUIJES goes into a hum and sing the special FORECE SONG

LUKES: Ha ha thisaway ha ha thataway ha ha thisaway my oh my ACHOOO

as he sneez MISS NADIA POPOFF appear in cloud of smokes an WHISK PRUINXES LIAR thru the back of her magic wardrobe not a euphemisam by the weay and they go and ride on back of a MAGIC LIONS in the snow an LIARES can go to the ball because the glass slipper fit hber properly no jokes

LIKES: I love it when [plan come together lol

END OF SENE NINESZ, OR IT SI? YES IT IS SHURT ups fool

STRANG WAZZ seen TEN

YODDER is walkuing around talking in backwards language and his best frend ULYSEES 31 is holding his hands it is a sweet scene and auydiense is bound to cry (((NOTE TO DIRECKTERS: make sure there is lots of FLOWERS and soppy music o like JHAMES BLUNTS and PAUL POTYTS and SUZANE BOILS ok)))

CUT TO BIG SPACE FITES with STARVSHIPS ENTERPISEon deck

CAPTAINS JEAN LUKE PICKJAREDS: o tjhis not to do i am real acktor u kno look out here come a ROMULATIONS DECLOAKING o me o my this worst day eva an I lost my wigs too

WILFS: Captins wqe shoold ATTACK and have FITE with ROMULATIONS as they are breeching a treetys an the FEDSDERATIONS will be all like, oh yeah whateva, an it will be WELL NOT REAM

CAPTAIN PAN CLC PUICAR: o me o my this remind me of poems by Samulel TAylors Colereidge ON SCREEN pleese

ROMULARN man com,e on screens an look at PICKHARDS

ROMULANT: \ ur puny human like what HULKS say so give me all your sparte JAM we have ran out of it an our toasts is getting damp and like rubiosh carbpoard.

CAPTIN JAY LUEN PXITUERD: No way Jose ur like the RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINERS he stopped one in three an tell them all about his adventures of breaking boat an killing mans so u cannot have my JAME it is all for me an WILF to spred on each other later an have lovey fun time

ROMULATION: No way man ur defo gonna get a wedigie now

CAPORI JAN PUCAKO: I will beam yu up in a minit now go to shop and buy some like everyone else I wil lend u a quid it is only 89p for some nice Duerrs strawberry in B&Ms today

ROMIUUL: OK cool thx bye

ROMUNUL disappear an ship disappear to B&Ms an after they go JON LPUCAKER start to laff at emptie screens

CAPTIAN JON LUKES PI TUARD: HAHAHAHAAHA u clot it 1.89 really u only got enough for crapo German marmalades LOL

EMND OF SEEN TENS wow that was a amazing ones

((N OTE TO DIRECTIER: make sure JONLUKETPIKAs hed very shiny ok it will look greeta on screens an cause lots ogf LENS FLASH it a trik I learnt from rebooted START REK filmns direckted by JJ AVBRAHAMNS he do it LALL the TIME an think nobody notivce))

TARIONG WALLS scene eleven TRUE FACT

NOTORIOUS BIG isz a ghost and is hanging around in the MILLENIUM FALCOLON pressing loads of buttons when CHEWY BACKIE is not looking and it makes rhte MILENEIUM FALOUMN do wheelies and tricks and CHEWGHABA thinkis it is him doingf it

HAND SELO: That's some cool driving, Chewyeears, you beautiful fool

CHEWHAOCK: Whoououjopujououjouo waaa eooooooooo

HAN SOLO:" I agrtee entirely in fact the new plan is let the Wookie win lol u crazy bean

SUDENLY the TARDIS appear on the deck an the best DOCTROI HWO jumps out, that is, in fact, SYLVESTERS MACKOYS

DOCTOR WOO: flippy floppy floo! There is a trouble with a tribblE! U must now land on that planet there

CHEWBACKSER: SHOHOYOYOBHNLOBNoihbklljkbhoiyoy cakakakakawoooooooooooo polopopopop

HANDER$ OLSO: Never go back to a lited fireworks lol CHWENBAKERS landing please on that planets there

NOTORIOIS BIGS presses buitpns in background and acidentaly blow up planet an everyone laff

DOCTOR HOO: I am going now flip flip floooo come on now K9 the robnbot dog which is better than me to be honest

K9 look at CAMERA and make his trademark noise which sound like dolphin stuck inside a inner trube

HANF CLOTSO: That easy for u to say, now kiss me before I melt u gorgeous lipped master of madness

HAND FOLSO and DOCTOR WHOO do a kiss and CHewbACKWER join in and give double reacharound.

NOOTIOUS BIGS: I like to move it move it

THE SONG I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT PLAY like inm MADAGASCARS an everyone do a sexy dance

END OF SENTE ELECVENS cut and p[rint

((NOTE to publicistis: use picture of waterfalls to highlight the emotitons in this bit., it all about deth and love and magic and THE FORCES OK!? Get that man that did a pinks FLOWYS albums to do it or maybe use picturues off a HUBBLO Telkexctsope or |GOOGLE STEERT VIEWS - ok love u x))

SART WASRE seen twelve

A YODDER and LUKE STYAPWREJHK are sitting by a fire in a swamps, it is dark ansd their faces are lit by the ever-moving rhythm of the blue-green flames of mystery ((MAKE A NOTE OF THIS THIS REALLY GOOD AN WUILL MAKE THE BOOK ADAPAPTATIUOHNS SELL LOADS OF COPPIES))

YODERE: Lukes must looks fire into. What you see you must say. Close but not right it is.

LUIKE: Yes masters YORDER I will look into this fire here what is a lite and all flamey and such like stiffery

FROM LUKE POV NOW

WQew looks into FLAMES. They dance with the extrapresence of the futuristic magic and wholeness of beautynmess ((MORE HERE SAVE THIS TOO I AM ON A RPOLE FOO FOOO!!!!!!))

Gradullaly the FLAMES turns into a rexcognisable thing yes that is FIGUTES and that is a TABLE they are sitting round oh what could this be? It a bit blurryated but eventually we see if is PLANET EXORESS board meetingts

OLD MANS: Good newses everybody!!!!!!! I has inventicate4d a new way to deliver pizzas to poklanet SATURDNS!!!

FRY: But I am stupid and now I say something stupid becos I am a slob really but here is my robots friend he like drink som beer

ROBOTRS: YEAH kiss my metqal shiney arses u flob heads I want to steel money and eat some oil and get drunk and have a cigar shut up[\ u r all pricks

FRYS: YEAH me too!!!! O here come sexy LEAAALA she only got one eye but she is a good sexy lady and much better than PRINCES LEAS who at this moment is actually face down in a puddle of sick at the back of BAA BAAR becos she drinked two many one pound shots like bloody brain which look an taste a lot like snot

SUDDENLY the picture change to a load of sheepdogs trying to herd a sheeps into a pen

we ZOOM OUT

Yodders: Happened what did? Enjoying that I was. Better by miles than the SIMPSONS now it is. Fucking hell it has gone shit seen it have you? Totally stpoped they should of about ten years ago. Seriously shit it has gone. FOK

LIKE: I do not know masters. I cannot get the piuctures back. Look it changed again

PICTURE is now a really old epsiode of QUINCYS just the first bit really

YORDERS: Like it I do not, force dark I feel,hmmmmmmm> ?> Wot!?

WE ZOMM OUT AGAIN and see DARTH MAULS and DARTH SIDIDIDIDOUSES are gigling hiding behind YODERE and LUEO SPEWAKA an DARTH SIDDEOUSOE has got a special wand in his hand

DARTH MAULS: LOLS u r a geniuses where did u get that magic thing u r pointing at them

DARTHER DSIOUS: It is from pound shop a universal remote control for magic fires lol I tuned it in by looking on internet also Yodre is a mong he has kepty his defaults password as ADMIN wot a clot he deserve it

DARTH MAULS: DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!!!

Darth SERIOUS point the thing at fire again and now it showing LADYS CURLING from a old OLYMPUICS

DARTH MAUILS: OOO leave this on it got kirsty hey in it she my favourit

DARTH SERIOUS: OK she cool yeah I agree lol

We see OYDER and LUEIK hitting sides of fire, etc

LUKE (in distance): Have uy tried turnin it off an o again?

CUT END OF SEEN TWELVE REMEMBER DO NOT GO BACK TO LITED FIREOWRK

STROE WAS scens thirteen

HAEN SOLO is sitting on his own in a darkened room; we can barely make ouyt the outline of the sofa that holds him. The curtains are drawn; no light peeps through but a wan, tired low glow. Indeed, it's as if the sun itself has given up the fight. Surrounding HAN are some empty pizza boxes; a KFC zinger burger has been half eaten but now has cigarettes stubbed into it. Peeking out from underneath the sofa is a well-thumbed copy of RAZZLE.
The camera pans, at floor level, toward HAN, who is staring, ever staring, at and through a television. Close up on his eyes. They are dull, deadened, defeated. He blinks but he has no tears left. a WIDE SHOT shows that there is detritus of some kind of electronic device on the floor surrounding him: we deduce that it is a mobile telephone, which has been smashed. ON the screen we see the final text that has been received and is now stuck. Through a cracked screen we can just make out the words: IT'S OVER. CHEW.
All we hear is the stabbing rhythm of a man, breathing, trying to damp down torrents of tears. His diaphragm is letting him down; breaking his composure and providing half-sobs, despite his efforts.
HAN brings a bottle of vodka to his lips. It is empty. He throws it on the floor, in dismay. There, it rolls into a pile of similar drinks. He reaches to a TABLE and locates a glass. We see that it is some kind of liquid; floating therein are six or seven discarded CIGARETTE BUTTS. He picks them out and throws them away.
He picks up a REMOTE CONTROL and flicks through the TV Channels.
POV: HAN LOOKING AT TV
The channel is merely static. He pauses, scrolls up. Channel 17: static. Channel 18: blank screen; Channel 19 flickers and threatens to become a picture - but is static. It is the same all the way up and down the channels. HAN flicks, slowly, then faster, then angrily, mashing the buttons harder and harder until eventually he chucks the REMOTE CONTROL aside with only a sigh.

WIDE SHOT: HAN reacjes down into his gun holster and pulls out his blaster. He studies it for a full minute, turning it around in his hand, feeling its weight, checking its power is full, a half-smile at the adventures they've had together. But a brief smile indeed as the cloud descends once more upon his grey, derelict skin.

HAN drinks the tainted glass in one shuddering gulp.

As we PAN OUT we see him raise the blaster one more time; except now, he has the barrel in his mouth, pointing upwards. He uncocks the safety catch...

FADE TO BLACK. END OF SCENE 13

STARW ARS DELETED SCENE

(NOTE TO DIRESKCTER: FILM THIS and put it secret on THE DVDDVD so that the fukin geeks who find it wil creem there pantz ok it will be GOOD PUBLICITYS)

CLOSE UP: LUKE SKIYWALKER Puts on a pair of Y-FRONTS and we see his BALLS one hangs down further than the other one and he has wisps of bloned hairs and not even much poo stain on pants or wnaything WOW watch out boys ot girls he is a sexyu!

FREEZE FRAMNES FOR TEN SEKCUNKDFS

END OF DLIETED SENSCE

STAR WARK scene 14 - ((not for public consumption except on carefully 'leaked' preview sites ok))

CAP:TION: A HUNDRED YEARS AFTER THE LAST BIT OK?????? KEEP UP YOU SKUNK BREATHING FATTIES

HAN SOLZO is sitting in a nice chair in an old folks' home. He is in disguise as himself, like in that film with Elvis in it Bybba HoTep, you should watch it, it is quite good.

A NURSE comes past

NURSE: Mr Solo have you had your meddications today yet you silly sausage head here they are in this cup here

HAO SLOLO: He never really loved me you know. My big hairy walking carpet. I wasted my life. But how could I resist?

NURSE: Oh hang on these are for Mr SULU who is sitting next to u u have eated the wrong drugs and now are made into a JARJAR BNOKS insted sorry

MR SULU: Ooo I don't know now do I I must post a funny thing on Instagram or Facebook cos it turns out I am quite funny really and also in retrospect the performonce4 in stAr Wars was problaby intentionaly cmp because the hole progtram is anyway

HAD SOLORO: Misa geta ina bathnow. Bing bong boo, etc

SYDENLY a man apear !!!!!!

We see it SAMN from out of QWUANTUEM LEAPS an when he look in a mirror he actually turn into CPATAIN KITRKS from the serieses of STAA FTREK that he did

SAMS: O boy

ANOTHER MAN appear this is his frend who always perv on the birds an he is DEANS STOKCWELL an he hav a calcvulators

DEAHNVB SOCK: ZIGGY say there is a 95 per cent chance that u are here to fall in love with HAND SOLOL> who is over there turned into JAB INKS oh hang on there is a secxy nurse I once had a sex u kno sexy sex sex

DSAMS: O boy

CROSSFADE TO NEXT SEEN Bink

STAR WARS SCENE 14

PRINCES LEIAR is in GARLDANDS at 3.40am and she is DOING A DANCE with her frend CASIOPEAS from out of BATLESTAR GLAPRICA or maybe SPACES 1999 I forgot

The song is called BIG GHRULS u r BEAUTIFUL and they all dance and some men come and dance also

They cannot speak cos music is too loud so we have some COOL CGI SPEEEACH BUBLES come out of their mouiths, ity wil cost INDUSTRAIUAL MIGHTY MAGIC about 20nbillion poonds an nexct year look like it done on a Sinclair QL at best

PRINCES LEAA: OMG I Luv this song it is SO RANDOM lol

CASIPOREA: me 2. It IRONIC and META

A 6ft 6 transverstite is behind DJ decks and that quite fine by everyone who cares anywaty cos everyone dresses odd in STARS WARES. ((NOTE TO PROCUDER: Keep this all in so we can go on LOOSE WOMENS to do a publicitys))

CUT TO:

KLIKE SKITPAKER is by a SLATER S TREET kebabs shop doing a sit down an he is gholding a kebabs in one hand but have head in other hand being a drunko

SUDENLY ghosts of OBI WANG No BEER come and shake head

OBI W> AONBI: LUKE use the fork oh no we done that one already

A GANG OF THREE SCALLS strut up to LUKES an OBI WANK NOBS an they are high as fuck on coke

SCAL1: what do you look like kid? Why you got your dressing gown on lad?

just5 then SCAL2 SPIT at GOST of OBI WANKS NOBS and the three SCALS laff

SCAL1: come on then yer fuckin dressing gown meff lad lid lad lid lad lid lad

SCAL3 go behind OBI WANKGOUT an slaps him on back of hed

IOB WNKA NOB: The ways of the FORCE are blue and yello. Sometimes gravey coloured. Now I disappeer.

HE disappeer and SCAL3 trwat the SCAl2 in face instead it a really lol thing a bit like THREE STOOGOGOES so use a swanneee whistle is u like yeah

SCAL1: Yous stwoos are biffos now I go to shoot that Liverpool football man up the arse in the Jac fuck yous all

He disappear an the other 2 scals have FITE then LUKE get up and stagger off the wrong way home the prik

CUT TO:
Nighctluyb with flashuing lites an all groovy cololours
PRINCESS LEEEA and her frend CASPOIDA are dancing with some lads an the song is now a remix of Run to the HIULLS except by COMMUNARDS which seriously would be a good thing (((NOTE TO MUSICAKAL DIRECTRER: get this to hapen we will cover two massive fanbasese at once)))

CMAERA PANS out to reveals that the two LADS are actually BOBBER FETTS pooooooooooo scarey chord by JONH EWILLIEWMS please

CUT FADE PRINT DYE U BASTEARD

SATRA WS scene 15

LUKES has walked the wrong way and is now on Everton brow insteadf of TOCKY where he live. He is weaving all over the road an he bumps into a lady who is doing special work

LADY: Do you want businees love>

LUKES: Uh wot no I go home now

SIUDENLY LUKJES is beemed uip into clouds citity where he have a BIG FITE with DARAETH VADERARS on a bridges

LUKES: I gonna get u now u scamp

DAROGC: no way dude u r weak n I am gnarly yo

DAT VAKE cuts off LUKEOs hands

DARTHS: By the way I am your chief u kno, I well bummed yor mum lol

LUKJES:: NOOOOOOOOOOO way fok

DARTHS: YEAH I so did she loved it too this is my impressions of ur mum 'Ooo DARTHS bum me nharder I like ur cok mmmmm I love being bumd by u I am well into it' THAT IS A TRUE FACT lol

LUJES jumps down a big hole an d land on MOLAEMNUM FALCONS where LANDROVER LISAIN is driving becos HAND SOLOS is in a big bar of chocolat or something ((NOTE TO DFIRECTRE: Mayeb pubt in a big FLASHB ACVK later cos I forgot to do that bit))

LANDSRO: Blimey Lukeo that was a lucky

PRINEC LIAR: No it wasn't I told u to do it don't lie u meffo

LANDO: Lol onlyh joking by the way did u notive that GEOROE LUACS have a big problem with holes, like that big bumhole in desert that nearly eet LUKES then this bit where LUKES go into big tube then another one later wen MIALUM FGACLON go into cave but it actually bum of biug creature that want to eat on them an of course the DETF DSTAR is vulnerarable down a small tite hole u kno

PRINEC LARS: I fink he a classic Freudean anal fixater to be honest o yheh

LUKE: Hey fok of I am the one with no hand pleese give me a new one liuke robot an it also must have SCARY BLAK GLUOVE like DARP VADER so we can then go OOOOOOO he have dark srtides in bnhim but also at end he hav taken some of his DADs darkness away by it oo it so ver incredibloly alegorical or wotever

END OF SEEN move on no more to see here u grunting oaf

STAR WARS scene 16

DARTH VADER nis driving his car really fast down a road and it get to 88mph an suddenglty BOOOOOOM he is crashj into a barn then he nicks a kid scooter an take of fth e handlebars an turns it into a skatreboard and gets a lift off a car then hus mother but his mother is young decide to kiss him then he see a man who inventing a time mnachione and he say OI U R A GET SHOT in 1985 and man say I DONT want to no then DARTH VCADE$R go to dance an his puny dad eventually smack a bully inb a face then go and have a do sex with his mum then everything ok again an SATH VATEDF go bak in car and time machine man called DOCK is up a clock an it get hits by elctirictiy an he go back in car to 1985 then his dad al hgard an give bully man a row after play tennis then DARTH VAFE wake up an his frend DOCS say o no ui come with me ur grandkids are a mess and they all go odff in a flyinbg car and that the end until definiteo squequels

END OF SEEN 16 (NOTE TO DREC TOR: THis take about an hour an half so really good wayt to pad out new film ok))

STAR WARS FSCENE 17

DARTH VAFDER is doing wheelies outside chippy again, this a clever device to show FLASHBAK to start and remind audineces of where we r

HADN SOLO: Ooo I hate that duck scuse me I am going to crash plaen now into a golf courses lol

LUKAKAU: u stupid foo i [pity a foo ur a foo

HAND SOLO: STOP ur not mistre t ur just with me cos I cool and sexy and ladies like me quick watch out!

They JUMP back ionto KEVIN's chippy becos flying past is a YODDER on a JET SPEED BIKE

YODDER: Born and raised I was. In Philadelphia. West. Spent most of my days I 
did there. Chilling and relaxing was I most of my days I spent at the playground outside the pool up to no good were they b-ball cab rare it was home later I see

HAN D SOLO: O no YODDER is truying to RICKROLE us quick LUKAKU use ur speshal powers to get rid of hims

LUKAKA: Yeah he a real pain in the but kid

HAND SOLOLO:" THat my line u gunt. Go away

YODDER laff: HA HA u cant get mee I am a JEDDIE and ur a smell hed with big wrinkle face

SUDENLY LUKES uses his forces and SPIT a big GREENYT out his nose like a good football man alwayts dfid in Match of daYs in 1980s and everyone go UEEERRR ur minger

LUIKES: Yoders and DARTH VAERD u see that snot that is ur swiomming pool that is milky milkty o wot

DARTH VADFER start crying and pedddla away so fasdt he start to FLY and as he does so a YODER fall into basket on top of bike an they go past a moon cos YODER is actually same as a EAT TEA the extraid TESSESTICRIALs did u know yes it a true fact GeROGE LUKEASS say so one time but I lost the clip an the internet is broked today

HANSOL D: Now I have to go and get a special arks from deserts to melt faces of Nazi men bye bye love u xxx

END OF SEEN 17

STAR WARS Scene 18

MOON OF ENDOR

POV: directly above the surface,around a mile up. The camera points downwards. We can make out a river snaking through the landscape.

CAPTION: EAST ENDORS

CUT TO:
EWOK VILLAGE BIRTHDAY PARTY
It is WIKKIT's birthday and he is wearing a hat and lots of EWOKSOS are having alot of food and fun and laughting

ENTER TREEK, civered in blood, staggeringh across on e of the

TREEK: Aarghhh I am a dying

TREEK does a spectacvular bleed death all over the place and every other EWROK scream and throw things in the air and go nuts and start shouting ect. TREEK ends up dying an in the middle of WIKKIT's BIRTHDAY CAKE ruining it for everyone. WIKKIT start cryinmg

Another EWOK come in, this is a lady EOWK called PAPLOO that I looked up on WOOKIEPEDIAI

PAPLOO: WIKKIT do not cry I amn pregnont but WHO IS THE FATHER?

Everyone start crying again O no! whop could it be?

WIKKIT: Oh no PAPLOOP but u cannot be pregnant, becos I AM GAY and ur my girlfriend

All EWOKS start to shout again

PAAPOO: It was that WILM)OT BROWNS or DIRTY DEAN who did it

Now a new EWOK come in. THis is DANY DYERS EWOK an his eyes are sop close together they almost turn him into cyclops also he look like someone have photoshopped him into a sort of squash face

DANNY: OI ur a mug don't give me any apples and wife u gertcha ur a doughnut oi oi saveloy I'll flamin knock your apples and bread off u flamin hoon

WIKKIT: Watch out DANY DYERAs the house is on fire it was done by SHANE IVCHY becos he wanbts to kiss SHARONS on the bum but she say NO WAY I like baldy head mans instead so shoo off u clat

DANNY: O no I burning now like a big apple and randle oi got my beer on the sideborad here u mug I ain't nobody's apples an plug gertcha

PAPPOO: I been to see DOCTOR LEG an he say it not PREGNONT it just WIND becos I have EATED too much chips from IAN BEELs cafe

IAN BEEL wander into frame, he look like a big fat splodge of confused splongerooid

IAN: I never get another job I sad

WIKKIT: Do not worry IAN BEEL u can be like ourt version of KENS BARLOWS who is in the same show for 1000000000000 yeers

IAN: O NO I cannot take it I got this big knife I gonna KILL YOU ALLL

FX: DRUMS Doof doof doof doof doof doof

ROLL CREDITS

END OF SENE 18

START WADSZ Scene 19

A galaxy long time ago, a far away o no we done that bit already hang on start again

THE DETHA STAR is being builded in the sky and the EPRJNPOR is wandering aroundn in a cloaks singing

EPMOROR: I like to move it move it move it move it I like to move it move it I like to MOVE IT

A STRON TROPOER start to sing also

STORPNTROPOP: St[p collaborate an listen here come the ice with a brand new missionb if you got a problem yo I solve it check out my cok while a DJ revolves it ICE ICE BAYBEE

Then LIKES STARWALKIER come in weilding a bit of a big sword thing all glowyt it a LITESABERES

LUEKE: Stop singing it doing my head in I got a megha hangover from drinking with ChewBAKER he a beast manh u see him he doesn't look drunk but he can neck ;like 256 babychams in a row an even LEWMMY of MOtorhead can't keep up with that fokiun hell

EMPRORO: Ha! Ur soft an cannot dtrink even a beer u r no JEDDAI I once saw your father neck like two bottle sof THUNKEDRBIRD BLAK true fact u sure he ur dad? U soft twat

LUEK SOJHWALK: No but I had loads of mad dog 20/20 before I even got to CHEWYBACK's gaff u kno so he was playing catch up anb it was the lime an coconut flavor which was on offer in BaRGING BOOOZ for two for a fiver

EMPRP: U silly moron that is expensivc it only two quid usually u been done there lad kid lad lid lad lid lad yeh lad lid lid lad u meff

SYDENLY entgerijng is ZAPTHOS BEEBLEBROXES who have extra arms and head an that

EPMOPO: Who the fuck are you kid lad lid you look like a ted lad

ZAPHNOD: Shut it you I gonna steel this ship cos I anm teh PRESIDENTS OF THE GALAXYS an also v cool an I am going out with sexy PAMELELA SETVEBNSONS true fact look she wearing v tight gold clothes an all the dads think she is ace when she on telly too

EPNMOROR: NO this cannot hapon I am going to blow it all up with my buton damn I have lost rhemote controls it down back of Darth VADED sofa after we hgavc cudols last night o fuckpergles

ZAPHORD: YEAH take that bozo now let's get out of here I want a pan galactic gargle blastert then u will see who can drink properly YEAH

ZAPHOD HED 2: YEAH

STROMTOOPEWR: Ur wel cool I wel jel lets sing song

EVERYBODY start sing songing to EELS BEAUTIFUL FREAK an get naked

END OF SEEN 19 yeh

STARE WAX Sean 20

OBILY WANKILTY NOBY is a gohst an is not in this bit ok

JARS JARS BINKS is on a ship with DOCTOR OCTOBPUS. A real ship that is on a seas ok, this is like PIRETS OF THE CRAIBEAN ok we can reuse there stuff I asked a man it is going to be OEKAY OK dont worye

DOCTORACTOAPS: I get u with  my mr tickle arms u great big hippy

JARSB ARS: No way misafraid mea falloffship

JARSON Fall off ship an SINK but it ok cos he can live under there with MERMADE who appear an it is DARYL HANAR but u don't see her boobies proerply even if u pause videos I kno I tried it

DSOCTOR OCTAOPS: HAHAHA nobhed I was just gont to tickaol u u flipping spindryer

SUDENLY THE HYLK APEAR

HIULK: Raaaaaaaaa

HE is all green and angry becos he need a big poo but there no tolioets on the boat

DOCTORI OCTAS: Hey hulko did ui know u can poo of side of ship it ok u know cos fishes will eet it

But HULK too angry to l;isten so he SMASH UP SHIP an tie DOCTROI OCTAPOS into NOTS then THRO him overbored an use him as a toliet, which is mingin

THEN JON STARK AARRIVWE IN SPECIAL IRORN MAN SUIT HE CAN FLY IT DERAD COOL

STARK: I see you have got before me here Hylk. I am greens with evny!!!!!!

MASSIVE LOLS from aufdience at this bit becos STARKS is good with one linesers

STARKS FLY OFF AGEIN

STARK: Pepper Potts u better haf cooked my diner or there going to be no LiTTLE IRON MAN for u later LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AUDIENSE LOL

CROSS FADE THING TO MILEOENIUM FALCONS BEEING CHASED BY SOME THAI FIRETERS

MILENISON FACLAND can gfo thru surprisingly small spaces v fast so one by one all the FIETRES go blow up explodeoid, we can do this in POST PRODUCTOENS an then in FIVCE MINUTES LATER it will look ABSOLUTETLY SHIT like it done on AMIGA4500 o well never mind

CUT TO

INTERIIOR of MILESON FAIOL

SHANDY HOLO: Chewie we r at home

CHEWIE: rauohbkyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrououooooooooooo

END OF SEEN 20 CUT PRINT GO TO 10 RUN

SA WATS Sodcent 21

PRIONCES LEER is in KEBABS SHOP it 3am an she all cvered in wine stains on her white dress an white high heels an white makeup an white nails an no coat. She is by a counter talking to the man there

RINCE LEIR: Can I have a large donner with chilli an chips no chilli no hang on chips an donner meet on toip no bred I watch a figure lid lad lid kid

HAND SOLOS: I Wil watch yor figur for u luv lol

PRONCER: You wish lad you wish kid lad lid lad lod lid Do one lid

HAND SOPLEOS: I will do you in a minit lol

MAN BEHIND COUNTER: Her you go love. Three quids please

PRIAN LEAS: THere ya go lover

HAPN SOLOI: I will there you go lover4 u in a minut lol I so smooth

SUNDELY ENTER A SCRUFFY MAN HE LOOK A BIT WEIRD AN THIN AN PULL OUT A PEN an PAPER, he is THE PEOEPLES POET

PEOPLKAT POET: Wot ur name is I write a poems

PINCER LAIR: I am LEAR The princes of all galaxy true fact

HAM SPLOO: I wil lear u princes of galaxioe in a minut

PEOPLE POET write down a poem pon the spot whilst HAR STOILO an PRINCE LQW sway like on a boat cos they DRUNKO fact

PEOPLE SPOT clear his throay like this CHICGIU an speak

PEPSO POOR: There once was a princess called Lear Whose feet were standing just here She ate a kebab An chips in a bap An a pint and a half of a beer

HAP STO: Fucking hell ur so shit I can eat a aplhabeti spaghetti an poo better poimes

PRION LAAE: Hey lef him alone HAM SOUTH he is a good here ya are lad have a chip

PERO POET: THat is five pounds please I mean one pound have you got 50p this IART u know

HARALD SOO: Sling ur hook lad before I art u in a minute

But PRINCES LEER has given him a quid already so PEOPELS POOT shutful off

PRINCE LEAR: Now u do one Ham SPOTLO becos ur a drunko an ur pizza is ready u gut bucket

HAMOIN SLONO: I shoot first BAM BAM

Then ALL MANS IN SHOP FALL OVER it a ERTHWUAKE O no! Wot nexty!

Not realy it just fade to blak cos it end of SEEN 21

STAIK WAZ SVCREN 22

SUDENLY A SCRIEN go BLKAK but sson we kno this is becos CAMERA IS ZOMED IN on DARTYO VAIDERS BAK OF HED an when we ZORM OUT it go shiny an reflected in it is a picture of like HANDS SOO an LUKES CVAKYWAKLERDS doin cool tricks on a scooter behind DATO VADPR's BAK

This cool camera skill an then we see DATO VADERIE hav a shado that look just like little boy Anakins Skywalkers aaah he cute little scary boy with lots of MICXERCORDIANS inside oooooo

CYT TO:

PORICNES LEER now is in CAVERN WALKS lookin at a dress an next to her is cameo from sexy ABBEY CROUCH who do a little dance an wink at camera as if to say HI EVERYONE I AM STRIUCTLY CHAMPINE

PRINCES LAIR: Do not wink on a camera. I kno Lukes SKYDWALK he so cool better than uyr freek husbond he about 18 foot tall like a big spimder armed spaz

but ABBEYSZ CROUCHES has danced away with the hole shop follo behind her like PIED PIPERS

PRINCESZ LOO: Ah no all people haf left LIVERPOOL I mean HAMELINS an now nobody heer to sick in street and do a wee when nobody lookin o no this disaster help me Obby WANKO u r a dope

END OF SEEN 22 oooo tense

SDAR WRATS SEe3mn 23

We are in a BIGBOGIBIG haus and there is at least twenhty peoplrs there sudenly LITES xcome on an standing there is a LADY

LADY" I am SEXYS TYRA BANKS nad yousartillintherrunningtobecomingamericasnesxttopmodels SYEXY NIGEL Photographer and aloso PR Maven an MISS J Colins that man with funny hair all say so

SUDENYLY models start crying an alls ay: O it my dream all I want to do is MODELSING to my hoel life I am 17 ever since I wasn 53 I weant to standing here do a modelings an wear a clothes waa waa ur not fare it all my dream I do it for god an my mum an my dog which is DED u know waa waa he was good doggie called o I dont remember but he was really good an now I am sooo sad

TYRAS: IT is ok I feel yr pane now fuck off out of the studio u stupid fatty loser face uyr worst then HITALARS that pic made me VOMITTT an then I eatyed the VOMITT an poold it out again then eated that too an then wa SICK give me a hug ur my favourite even tho yur uggo mc spazface loser

MODELS: O tyras I will be bak I promise this is start careering not the end ur my hero biggle boggle bnoo

SUDEWNLYS HAND DOLO Fall out of wall cos he has got stuck in sements again o wot a silly clot

TYRAS: PO HAM SOIULOI ur such a concrete hed what r u like LOLOLOL

SUDELTBLY ELECTRIC SIXES APPEARS IN SPACEFSHIYT an start playing megas hit GAYS BARS an all mODELS do a dance an TWERK their BUMBUMS at eech other an TYRA do a fart an all LAFF

FADE AND PRINT BEST seen EVERS SO FAR NO DANGER BOOM< IT DISNEE NOW U KNO

STARM IX SCETB 24

RYLO KENN is standing by a wall like all like he owns the \place yeh omg he doesn't even opwn his own shoes yeh he think a ipad is like a eye patch omg liol an he anyway he looks a bit like DARP VAEDER remember that bit ok it impoaitant

SUDONLY a reely OL:D HAM SOPJLPO ttrundle past on one of themn electric scooter things

RYLAN: OMG u got so old HAMED SOO did u crash a plane into godlf corses recently?

HAMNSO: Shut up I an supersexy AHM SOLOS from RAEDERS OF LST ARCK ok an my wife is that lady out of the programem that is not SEX BIN CITYS but is exactyly the same except she is a solictior por something

RYLO JKEN: THe dark side is rising I will compleat the work done by you and avenging u

HAAS: Wot u talk about by the way have u seen LIOOK he is not in the trailers do u think he is one a dark sides now?

RYLAOS KENNE: OOoooo it mysetrical the force, that is out of date it is a story toldes by old men pfft it only a legends oooo

HANSOYO: That not wot I ask but IO spose that also premise of whole thing yeah anwyayt ur not LUke but he is in some kind of stasis somewhere due to darks sides andstuff yueg

RYAL: That's the one lad sssh tho so we sleel lolads of tickets

HAN SPUH:LO exit noiw an go to KEBVINS to ask for special chow mein witb BARBECUE SAUCE cos that the best

RYLO KENS look around all suspicious an then try and cross the road but O WOT IS THIS IN DISTONCWE? OMG it is dark now and m an has special LITESABERER which look like a JESUS CHROSS

RYLO KENS!: WHOA DUDE that so cool not as cool as DARTHHB MNAUL to be fare but never minds who r u

BUT MAN WITH JESUS SABERE just smile behind his COLOAK an hide in a tree. OOO is this one SKYS LUKEWALKO?

FADE CROSS SCENE WITH SPOOKEY MUSICS AN LOADS OF LENDS FLARE BY JIM ABRAHAM MUPPET THE FDirectker

NOTE TO MANS: THis EXACTLYT Gonna happen defo SPOUALER ALRET!!!!!

STAIR WAOPM Seen 25
ALL IS BLACK AND DEADS
Cut

SDTAR WAZR FINAL SEEN!!!!

KYLE OREN: Sut mae pawb dwi’n dod o Rhosllanerchrugog ger Bangort Is Y Coed pwy a wr eh

HAMSH(IO LO: Hey YOU get outa the way I gonna rfescue my fredn LUKES wqho is stuck in this big pie he fell in when it was being made bhy PRIZXBNES LUIER

PRINCES LEIR: Yes I mix him up good. Boom! Touch de road

KYLE OREN: O dwi ddim yun deal o gwbl. O diar diar fi.

BB8: Beeopeeee booopeeee

R23R@DL: Beeoeghi9b

C3pOO: GEtt a room you too stupiud driods o me I am so like o omg

SYDEBKT KJYLE ORENS picks up a SDTARTH V AEDER Mask an speak to it:

KYLE OREN: I fod, neu beidio â bod, dyna'r cwestiwn:

P'un a 'tis urddasol yn y meddwl i ddioddef

Mae'r Slings a Arrows Ffawd warthus,

Neu i gymryd Arms yn erbyn Môr o drafferthion,

A thrwy wrthwynebu ben hwynt: i farw, i gysgu

Dim mwy; a thrwy gysgu, i ddweud ein bod yn dod i ben

Calon-boen, ac mae'r mil o sioc Naturiol

Dyna Cnawd yn etifedd i? 'Tis a consummation

Ddefosiynol i gael eu dymuno. I farw, i gysgu,

I gysgu, Perchance to Dream; aye, mae y rhwbio,

Canys yn y cwsg o farwolaeth, a allai pa breuddwydion yn dod,

Pan fyddwn wedi cymysgu oddi ar y coil marwol,

Rhaid rhoi saib i ni. Mae y parch

Mae hynny'n gwneud Calamity o fywyd ar yr amod:

Ar gyfer pwy fyddai'n dwyn y Chwipiaid a scorns o amser,

Anghywir, Contumely y dyn balch yn gorthrymwr, a

Mae pangs of Love dirmygedig, oedi y Gyfraith,

Mae haerllugrwydd y Swyddfa, ac mae'r Spurns

Y claf hwnnw teilyngdod yr annheilwng yn cymryd,

Pan ef ei hun y gallai ei Quietus gwneud

Gyda Bodkin foel? Pwy fyddai Fardels arth,

I grunt a chwysu dan bywyd blino,

Ond bod y arswyd rhywbeth ar ôl marwolaeth,

Y Wlad heb eu darganfod, y mae ei Bourn

Dim ffurflenni Teithwyr, posau yr ewyllys,

Ac yn ein gwneud yn hytrach dwyn drygau y rhai sydd gennym,

Nag hedfan i eraill ein bod yn gwybod nad yw o.

Felly Cydwybod yn gwneud Cowards ni i gyd,

Ac felly y lliw Brodorol y Cynnig

A yw sicklied o'er, gyda'r cast golau Meddwl,

A mentrau o draw mawr ac o bryd,

Gyda hyn o beth eu Ceryntau yn troi o chwith,

Ac yn colli enw Gweithredu. Meddal chi yn awr,

Mae'r Ophelia deg? Nymff, yn dy Orisons

Byddwch yn fy holl bechodau cofio

HAMD SOLO: That so true, girlfrtend.

HAND SOLO an KYLE OREN do a kiss on the lips

SUNDENLY LUKES APPEARS WITH LIGHT BHEHIND HIM ALL SHINTYY

LUKES: THAT was all  I needed to no. I would happily give you married to each other |HMAD SOLO and <MYLO RENNS becos I am a really good bishops man in ther church of JHEDDIES would u like that?

C2PO: Oh master LUKEW that woulsd be well boss an skill an tha

CUT TO:

INY. CHURCH. The aisles are full of STRONTPPOERS some of which are crying an wiping their handfacesa weith hankyes an some are shooting their fguns in happy jhoyh an some others are already dxruynk.; On the other side is the SKYTEWALKERS family,  CHWWQNALKER, TRON, Brian Blessed an all the other mans.  LUJKE ius standing wewar ing a suits in front of HAMED SOLOLUO whoi is wearing a SUIIT.

MUSIC PLAYS it is WEEEDING MARCH by MENDLOSENNNS except done on pandpipes by that mans hwo loioo like DAVID MOYES an say IT A TRAPIS in other episaod

HANDSE winmk at L:LUKES

But whjo ius this compi9ng down the middle of church all dreased in white robs and lot of frillky things? OIo it muyst be most beautiful thing in untsiv erse. She get closer an smiule at HJJANMD SAOLO. IOT KYLE ORENS~!!!!!!

LUJES: Do YOU KYLES OREIN take HAMFOH SPANGLE SOLO McPOO to be your holy wedding man?

Kyules ORENBS: YEAH MAN TOTESD

LUKES: COOL DUDE yo HUAN SPRFAL SOLO MACAYO do you take holy weds off this KYELE MINGOGUE ORENS?

HAN: YEAH go on then why not LOL

LKKUJKE: OKJ Then by powers vested in my bty |CASTLE GREYSKULLS I calls uip[on any mans present to obnject to the wedding to speek nmow or forever shut the fuck uip you cunts.

PAUSE

O N  O SUDENLY C3PO RUSH IN DRIVING DEWLORERANMS CARS

HAMD SOLO: Wot Is It Theepo? Is IT MY PARENTS AGANS?

C340-u70:” NO WAY thery OK BUT IT YOR JKIDS WE WOPRY ABOUT!!!!!!

KYLE OPRENMS Start to cry

HAROON: Wot the mater KLYLE ORENS? Ur sad face. L L

KYLE ORENS: I not KYLE ORENS….

She TAKE MASK OFF TO REVEAL SHE IS SCRAPY DFOOO

KYLE ORENS: AND IU WOULD OIF COTTOJN WITH IT IF MEDDLOI KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KILE ORENS RUNmnning away. NAM SOLO get in LEDORIAN with R@#$CPO an fly away. ALL STORUPOOERS start doinmg a SICK all at oncer

ALL OTHER CHAROTCERS have BIUG FITE An band from MOSET ISELETY come on and do a vcool number

CLOSE UIP ON LUKE FACE:

LUKEW (To camera): That SHOWB  ISNESS!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\

END

ROPLL CREDITS:

LLUKES KYEWLAER: Mart POOM

Princes LUIEQW ORFGASMN: Geena GEERSHON

HAM SOUL: DAVIF SOUL

CHEWBARCER: DAVID Haslen off

KYLER ORENS: Frank WORTHINGTON

ALL OFTHER CHARACTERES PLAY BY JIM HENMSOPN PUPETS

AFTER CREDFITS SEUQENCE

A BED hjave lots of ruffle sheet5s under blankots an that an we can heer GFIGLING an some funnyt squelch noises. After a while MEICKY MOUSE pop up with big grtin on his face and start smoking a biug cigarette. Thhen another person come into view from under sheets. OMG IT HAR HAR BHIKNS!!!!

HJKAR BINGKJS: WATCH OUT FOR A SQUEQUEL FOLKS

MICKY MOUSES:L WILLLLLMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA